Stay Away From Heavy Objects

25 Jan

I’m going to digress a bit from my usual style here and discuss something that I am troubled with. I find myself wanting to bash my head with something heavy and large. Why you ask? Well, let me explain.

My lovely wife and I have an amazing two year old that God has blessed us with. He is truly an amazing gift from God. He makes me laugh and his smiles are like a drug I am heavily addicted to. But for you un-parenting types, if you don’t know this, kids take a lot of time. It’s wonderful time, special time, rewarding and fulfilling time. But, (to quote Katherine Hepburn from “African Queen”) never-the-less, it is time… time you no longer have available to do things like cleaning the garage, watching movies, reading etc. Now, if you don’t already know this, I am an Administrator at a larger than average size church, I am a born again Bible thumping Christian. But with a new addition to my family, honestly there has not been the pre-child amount of time available to do my Bible thumpin’.  My wife and I miss that a lot, so recently having gone to see Jim Caviezel at a local church we decided to purchase his newly published audio Bible to listen to in the car as we commute back and forth to work. I highly recommend this VERY affordable set of CD’s. They are very well done with excellent background music and dramatization of the Word of God.

I believe my lovely wife is an amazing scholar of the Bible. She is one of the best resources to explain the Old Testament. She knows names, dates and details of Old Testament books that I quite honestly may have never even read. You see, I’m a man. When you ask me what to do about something or my opinion on something I immediately go to the New Testament because it’s so simple and stated so clearly I can get to the facts without a lot of non-necessary (in my opinion) details. I like to say I’m a simple man. Not like Gomer Pyle, more like a “Saving Private Ryan” kind of guy. Simple in the sense that if God says “Go into the world and preach the gospel” I take it to mean I must leave my living room, or church building, and go out to where “the world” is and tell them about the gospel. I don’t need to have a 3 stage plan, do a months research about demographics and what the “Mega-churches” are doing and then pray for a few months to see what God wants me to do and then eventually, if the “Spirit bears witness” make an announcement on Sunday morning that we are forming a new Bible study to pray and ask God to begin a revival in our town.

The New Testament gives me all I need in a few verses and then I need to simply do what it says. I have never been a huge Old Testament reader. There are parts I really enjoy. But There are parts that after 31 years of being a Christian I have unfortunately not really read. I have “skimmed” large chunks. But I decided that after getting these dramatized CD’s I would do the right thing and start with Genesis and each day as I drive to work listen to the Old Testament while I drive. Genesis was great. This series really helps you to imagine things and almost picture yourself being there as God created everything and the dramatic music plays in the background, you feel the awe of the time in history when there was nothing and then there was everything. God made it all. Then you progress to the rest of the growth of humankind and Israel and Abraham and all those things we have heard about and read about so many times. When you hear GOd speaking from the burning bush, Abraham offering Issac on the altar, etc. and then you get to ohhhhh about… Exodus 21 or so, and they begin talking about “If you buy a Hebrew servant, he is to serve you for six years. But in the seventh year, he shall go free, without paying anything.  If he comes alone, he is to go free alone; but if he has a wife when he comes, she is to go with him. If his master gives him a wife and she bears him sons or daughters, the woman and her children shall belong to her master, and only the man shall go free….” Hmmm… it’s getting kinda “dry” but you’ve got slaves, murder, stealing etc. You know, kinda dry, but some exciting elements to keep you interested.

Then you get to around Exodus 25… and it starts getting into stuff like…“Have them make a chest of acacia wood—two and a half cubits long, a cubit and a half wide, and a cubit and a half high. Overlay it with pure gold, both inside and out, and make a gold molding around it. Cast four gold rings for it and fasten them to its four feet, with two rings on one side and two rings on the other.  Then make poles of acacia wood and overlay them with gold. Insert the poles into the rings on the sides of the chest to carry it. The poles are to remain in the rings of this ark; they are not to be removed.”

Now I love God, I really do. But when I get to heaven, I’m gonna ask Him why? Why did you put this in the Bible. Now for all the Bible scholars out there, I know ultimately why. I understand things like Typology, and that God is trying to show us the importance of the details of all these things and I believe with all my heart that you will be blessed with reading ALL the Word of God. But even with the dramatized Bible I find myself wanting to punch myself in the head with a heavy large object to either keep me awake so I can listen to the Word of God and be blessed, or pass into a nice peaceful sleep where my head is not hurting trying to figure out what God is trying to teach me by reading,  “Make an atonement cover of pure gold—two and a half cubits long and a cubit and a half wide. And make two cherubim out of hammered gold at the ends of the cover. Make one cherub on one end and the second cherub on the other; make the cherubim of one piece with the cover, at the two ends. The cherubim are to have their wings spread upward, overshadowing the cover with them…” DON’T MAKE THEM THERE cherubims 2.65 cubits long, or you’ll just have to start over!! Now me and my professed male simpleness says, OK-it’s there for a reason, God has a perfect plan and does not do things by accident and there is a reason for every thing in the Bible. But next time, put that stuff in “Volume 2” with a footnote to people like my wife in Volume 1 saying “For more information please see see page 457 in volume 2.”

I actually called my wife as I was driving back to work after lunch, along about Exodus 25, and said, “Honey, I just gotta tell you, it’s still difficult and boring to me at times. But I am going to be obedient and listen to it all and not skip anything. But it would really help me if you would give me a nice kiss for every chapter I listen to that’s this boring.”

Shameful huh. But it’ll help…


One Response to “Stay Away From Heavy Objects”

  1. Lisa Lewinson January 27, 2010 at 12:10 AM #

    Wow.Where have I been?You should put your blog in book form.This is the first time I’ve read your entrys.You’re good!Knowing you helps, I must admit:)
    I love your family.If it wasn’t for Amie,I would have never made it. She’s gold.

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